The Person You Love Most, Will Hurt You The Most

do you know what's like to have the person you love hurt you by saying things that he may or may not have meant? do you know how a heart can just break because of that one look or the fact that no matter how much you try, nothing works? do you know what it's like to love someone for so many years and sit back and wonder if he loves you back? well i do. and unfortunately for me, i will never find out. and i feel sorry for the people who get stuck in the middle. no, i rephrase, i apologise to them. I'm sorry for all the childishness that makes all this so incredibly stupid. I'm sorry that I don't and can't seem to stop loving or stop caring. But I suppose that's what happens when it's family. I can't leave him and he can't leave me. We're flesh and blood aren't we? There's no running away... I can only hope that one day, somewhere in the future that he'll realise how much I really do love him and how much I would and have sacrificed for his happiness. I hope one day he'll see that he's always been the luckier of the two of us. The one who's been loved so much more than I can ever dream of being loved. The one who has such a brigh life ahead of him compared to the darkness that clouds mine. I wish that he could see how much I love him. So much so that I wonder if he'd be happier if I'd never been born. Just so that maybe he wouldn't be the way he is. Just so that he wouldn't feel like he'd have to compete for everything. At least I know one person out there does love me. And I thank God everyday for bringing him to me, even though I can't bring myself to call him and just cry in his arms versus sitting here and crying my eyes out for the one who doesn't care about me at all. I just want the both of them to try and understand how much I love them. And how I'd do anything for them. Even give my life and soul to see them happy. 

me n me quizes @ w0rk ;p

What Makes You Sexy? by eva71
Name/NickName
Gender
Sexy Body Part Is	Eyes
Special Talents Are	Kissing
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

oooooo ahhhh....

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Spiritual Advancement
In a survival situation, you:	Scream for help
Your hidden talent is:	Resourcefulness
Your gift is:	An iron constitution
In groups, you:	Blend in
Your best quality is:	Your indomitable will
Your weakness is:	Your laziness
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!

er... hehehehe

Can't Cry Hard Enough

I'm going to live my life
Like every day's my last
Without a simple good-bye
It all goes by so fast


And now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now


I'm going to open my eyes
And see for the first time
I've let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite

There it goes up in the sky
There it goes beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now


I'm going to look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is just an empty chair


And now that you're gone
I can't cry hard enough
No I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

plotted

You're a Plot writer!


What kind of writer are you?
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hmm?!

http://www.naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

1. You are attracted to those who are elegant and well-mannered.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is straight-forward, just tell you he/she
loves you.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too
moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one that you care not only about the present but
also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship
that you can grow with.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married,
you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as
something you can get and trash anytime you want.

CASTING CALL

Hey guys,
my company is looking for talents of all ages and races to come down and
audition for this corporate video we're shooting. If you're interested, please
call 6323 5352 during office hours and either look for Leslie or me :)

It would be even better if you lot could pass the message around ya? Oh,
auditions start this Wednesday, the 16th June!

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MeL

PS: This is only applicable to people in Singaproe!!! And YES, you will be paid
if you're selected as one of the cast!!!

Damnit...

It's just as much that I guessed something was going to happen. But then again there' s nothing more I can say or do is there. It's completely typical that every time something good happens, something else comes along and screws it up. So much for truth. So much for hypocracy. I have nothing more to say to you. So please, I don't know why you think this is such a simple matter. I cannot understand how this means absolutely nothing to you.

This is stupid.

Anyways, I've not been online much. Haven't been blogging much. Haven't been doing anything much except work. Well work and kicking myself for being too bloody gullible. So there are a lot of crazy people in the world. Heck, I'm one of them. And this is the way I live my life. You can't expect me to change. I thought that at least people would be able to accept that fact if not anything else. Well, evidently I'm wrong again aren't I. At this point I really don't think I should allow anything to hurt me anymore. People mean well and they try to help when all I really need is someone to talk to. I don't need sympathy, or pity. I just need for someone to be there for me and not run away. I'm too much of a bitch for that though aren't I. So much for being selfish.

As Good As It Seems

I dunno... I'm probably just paranoid. Something is... not right...
Hmmm....

wheee

Ok this past week has been a completely UNBELIEVABLY good one. It's been so great that the thought of something bad happening to take it all away hasn't crossed my mind as often as it has. And for me, the person who worries excessively, it's a GOOD thing. :)

Thanks to Mr. Yee, I AM BACK ON UW!! w00t!!! Not to mention I really have the greatest bunch of friends. Not to mention the prospects of me staying over night at the party Rick and I are organizing this sat is almost a reality! So yes, I am incredibly happy. And I feel really appreciated. Plus I lurve being evil.

You're the best. And YES this is real... :)

I'm gonna fight em off... A seven nation army couldn't hold me back... Hehehehe

Armada

Things are definitely lookingup. And I'm glad they are. Thank you. Really. You rock my world.

I'm Gonna fight 'em Off
A Seven Nation Army couldn't hold me back
They're Gonna Rip it off
Taking there Time right behind my back
-
And I'm Talkin' to myself at night
because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
behind a cigarette

And the message coming from my eye
says leave it alone
-------
Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone Knows about it
From the Queen of England To the Hounds of Hell
-
And if I catch ya commin back my way
I'm gonna Sell it to you
And that ain't what you want to hear
but that's what I'll do
-
And the feelin' commin from my bones
says find a home
-------
I'm goin' to Witchita
Far from this opera for evermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
-
And I'm Bleedin, and I'm Bleeding, and I'm Bleedin,
Right before the Lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
and I will sing no more
-
And the stings commin from my blood
tell me go back home

hehhehe ;)

Me?? Married?? :|

You will marry Johnny depp. He has a mind of his own and chooses movies mecause he likes the idea, not to make money or become a hearthrob. He will always respect you and stand up for you. Congrats!!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (14 choices now!!)
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Today was amazing. Things are finally good. Maybe life isn't so bad after all?

At least I didn't do what I wanted to do yesterday huh... Wouldn't have had today if I did... You could be the one thing in my life that is right for a change. The one thing that can keep me happy. Dinner was wonderful. Things were unexpected. But really, I think this could work. I'm happy. Because of you.

PS: Next time I won't hide!

Notes to self

Ok. I may have overeacted a LOT today and yesterday and heck for ever. But I have to draw the line somewhere right? So there you have it. The line is drawn.
Notes to self

Stop slacking!!

Stop spending money excessively now!! Wait for Melbourne!!!

Stop planning too far in advance

Go buy stuff for party

Debug & revamp etc etc website(s)

Widen social (by stop saying no all the damned time)

Learn when to say yes and when to say no

Stop spending my money on other people!!!!

Stop over working

Concentrate more on school work than other work

Plan for... oh wait... no more planning too far in advance... haha

And eventually it'll boil down to killing myself or killing the schmuk who's in my way. Heh...

and another thing

DON'T TELL ME YOU'LL DO SOMETHING WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WON'T!! Bloody liars... I can't stand it. If you have no intention of doing anything, DON'T SAY IT!!!

I feel... irritated.

Reiterations

After much careful consideration, I have established the fact that you are not what I want. Please refrain from assuming that you are. If there is anything that I could ever want of you, it would be you being a friend.. I'm sorry if you can't accept that. I may love you but you are not what I want nor are you what I need. It's not nice to take the place of someone you clearly are not. More than anything I need a friend who gives a damn enough to know what's going on. Surprisingly, you don't. Pity. I shan't expect anything more of you shall I.

I'm insanely exhausted. Kinda cheesed that I always seem to be doing all the dirty work for absolutely nothing. Initially I wanted to do things properly to at least get some kind of credential. But now, I am beginning to realise just how much you people are using me. From people I thought were my friends to people who are family. You know what? If you want to go on like that then so be it. Even as I write this I contemplate the repercussions of putting what I'm saying online. Evidently, nothing is ever private. And apparently everything is aimed at everybody except the one person they are all meant for.

I still stand by my decision. Chances are, I will leave. And you will not hear from me again. Harsh? I call it necessary. Angry are you? Don't be. You have no reason to be. I'm not angry with you either. I'm just reiterating this as clearly as I possible can. I have the opportunity to restart my life completely. I have the chance to leave everything behind. And I'm taking it. I will leave everything that doesn't need to know what I'm doing. I'm dropping it like the Americans dropped bombs on Iraq and Afghanistan. Only mine will hardly destroy anything. How can I destroy or severe anything when there is nothing there?

Go ahead, do what you must. It's your life to live. No wait... It's not must is it. It's want. Go on, I dare you. Take it. Why is it I see that you can't. No matter how much you try. Because you plain don't have any confidence in yourself. Go. What're you waiting for? The world is your oyster isn't it? You have everything you want don't you? You don't need us. Oh no, I shouldn't be speaking for others should I? Fine. You don’t need me. You can take care of yourself. Pity though, I was beginning to get pretty dependent on you. You know how I keep telling you there is always a reason for everything? Well, there is. And what goes around come around. Don’t you ever forget it.

We’ll probably hang out soon. But until then, goodbye.

your bitch.


What swear word are you?
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Your a Dark Angel...and hey, you probably knew it.
Dark angel are in truth, very malicious, but a
sign of one also is very sad. Dark Angel all
used to be pure angels, but something went very
wrong with their life. Either it was the
sudden, murder of a loved one, betrayl, or pure
torture to them, dark angels have commited
their life to Satan himself. They are silent,
and their wings are dark black feathers, or
blood red. Dark Angels appear when there is
someone dying, or a murder. If you see one, it
means the death of a loved one is expected.
Dark Angels cannot actually harm a human, but
they love to see the suffering of one.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
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A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven
albums.

Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.

Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.



Your Personality type is the only type that would
like this cool online gothic Game:

www.life-blood.vze.com


What kind of girl are you?
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You are Revelation.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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You are most likely to be the Vampire
Zealot!

The Zealot is the vampire that is utterly addicted
to what it is. Overcome by the sensations and
capabilities it possesses, it exists to simply
enjoy anything and everything pertaining to its
heightened vampire existence; it lusts for all
things available to it, blood, sex, power,
money, immortality. Neither identifiably
well-intentioned or malicious, these are
trivial matters to the zealot, as its existence
is focused on the sensations it can achieve.
The zealot always appears most seductive and
alluring, an utter sex symbol. As it is always
pushing the limits of what it can do for the
sheer pleasure of doing so, often it can be a
very powerful vampire, simply from the sheer
experience of its addiction.

Dominant personality trait: Lust

Dominant color: Red

Fictional Vampire Examples: LeStat ('Interview with
the Vampire'), Claudia ('Interview with the
Vampire')

Curious to see how you would fare as a creature of
the night? Come this way...


Vampire Classification Quiz (w/ Pics)
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You've definitely caught the bad-angel's eye. He's
very interested in you and he loves your fiery
attitude.. hmm.. maybe something special is in
store for you..


would an angel, demon, or pure evil fall for you? (now w/ pics!)
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SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct.
Ever wish you could be a
vampire?






Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
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Should've

It still hurts, it was nice while it lasted. But it's gone now. I'm sorry. But... once and for all. Good bye.

---

Congratulations! You're a black velvet!


What Drink Are You?
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