When I was younger I used to look at the future as this vast open space full of infinite possibilities and to put it simple a whole lot of fun. However, these days, the more I think about tomorrow (or even the next 5 seconds) puts me off whatever it is I'm doing. I'm not entirely sure where this is coming from but it's been at the back of my head for a very long time. I'm already at a point where I'm close to giving up because I really don't know what else there is. Or what the point might be.

I used to find some semblance of solace in tears. These days it's a wasted effort, it doesn't help any more and there's no one to really listen to what I have to say. It's like every thing that I am is unimportant and extremely meaningless to the people who claim to care for me the most. Ironic isn't it?

I think that I am a wasted excuse for a person. Another empty shell of a growing disease. Tell me. What is the point now? That's just it. There isn't one. Because no matter how good something is, or how unbelievable, there's ALWAYS going to be a catch that'll drag you lower than you were previously. The sad thing is, it's all that I've got and I don't want to give it up even though it's dragging me further downwards.

As you said, my life is less interesting. Thanks.