The Person You Love Most, Will Hurt You The Most

do you know what's like to have the person you love hurt you by saying things that he may or may not have meant? do you know how a heart can just break because of that one look or the fact that no matter how much you try, nothing works? do you know what it's like to love someone for so many years and sit back and wonder if he loves you back? well i do. and unfortunately for me, i will never find out. and i feel sorry for the people who get stuck in the middle. no, i rephrase, i apologise to them. I'm sorry for all the childishness that makes all this so incredibly stupid. I'm sorry that I don't and can't seem to stop loving or stop caring. But I suppose that's what happens when it's family. I can't leave him and he can't leave me. We're flesh and blood aren't we? There's no running away... I can only hope that one day, somewhere in the future that he'll realise how much I really do love him and how much I would and have sacrificed for his happiness. I hope one day he'll see that he's always been the luckier of the two of us. The one who's been loved so much more than I can ever dream of being loved. The one who has such a brigh life ahead of him compared to the darkness that clouds mine. I wish that he could see how much I love him. So much so that I wonder if he'd be happier if I'd never been born. Just so that maybe he wouldn't be the way he is. Just so that he wouldn't feel like he'd have to compete for everything. At least I know one person out there does love me. And I thank God everyday for bringing him to me, even though I can't bring myself to call him and just cry in his arms versus sitting here and crying my eyes out for the one who doesn't care about me at all. I just want the both of them to try and understand how much I love them. And how I'd do anything for them. Even give my life and soul to see them happy.