After forever, Anastasia and I are talking again. Kenny, her and I are gonna write songs and stuff together. We're not exactly a band but it's the next best thing. It's just like before. Things are working out well. I wonder how long it'll last.

Brewerkz was fuun...

I'm in Web Design class now.... I'm SOO damned bored........ The crazy people who normally would entertain me at this hour aren't online... This is really quite pathetic... I remember the holidays where I would still be asleep at this hour... Sad huh... More over, I won't be having a holiday at the end of the semester. ITP!!! Ack! I got my dad to send out registered mail for me yesterday. That means they either saw it yesterday or today. In anycase, I hope they get back to me really really soooon... Yes, I'm really impatient... Like it's not enough I get to come to school at 8 something in the morning for Web Design. Yea I like it and all. And to me this class is really a no brainer coz I more or less kinda know what's going on.... All the same, I have to be here. And I would be working on my assignments but these computers are SO SLOW!! 1 gig of RAM with less than a 10 gig memory?! *sigh*

Well, back to work for me I guess...

Guess what, over an hour ago I get a call from Luke telling me that he, Rick and Kenny are all at East Coast. He asked where was I? Rick said something along the lines of finally 3 of us together and you're not there. And Kenny... the good morning to you thing.
I mean, if you really wanted to tell you could have. It's not that hard to get a hold of me. And as for not calling Luke, I have no real excuse. Don't get me wrong. I do care, but I actually happen to have a lot of work. I want to do well. I want it so badly I'll kill anyone that stands in my way.

Bottom line, it's the 3 of them who are ultra close. I just happen to stick around long enough. Heck, I don't think I'm really part of whatever group there is. It doesn't matter I guess. Like I said, I'm not that hard to contact... Am I?

I'm into planning my portfolio. I've got a plan. Just need to worry about the front page's main image. I think I'm gonna need a tripod and someone to hit the button on my camera. Yea, I'm putting me on the front. Ego......... I don't really fucking care about a lot of things anymore.

ITP... I emailed CheeK to see what he says about my complete save for the Human Resource Manager's name and my finally completed resume. I just wanna get an idea of sorts of what he thinks. Personally it's just a precaution. I'm really hoping I get the internship. But if I don't... Then I'm gonna start filling out forms for overseas ITP. Yea, I'm considering OITP in Melbourne. My mom thinks I should tackle the local scene first. I think that it's all a big big opportunity for me. And hey, overseas ITP is so gonna look good for me.

I'm gonna go back to planning the portfolio. Might go on to do a little more of the journal thing too. I've got 10 out of the minimum 50 pages. Hah, 20% done. And I've got a shit load of pictures to send to the printers. A girl can only do so much... I need to get those pictures done...

'Sadistic Bastard' PLEASE VOTE!!!


What Type of Lunatic are You? (With Cool Pics!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Figures huh... But I kinda like the Fudged in the Head one! It's got JOHNNY DEPP!! As Jack no less! I mean I would've thought I'd be the psycho but hah! Guess I'm WAY worse than that...

By the way, I think I know a couple of people who fit the Lame-ass category eh guys? *wink*

ugh.... it's only week 1 and I'm already so exhausted. Reason being I've been the fanatic that usually surfaces at the end of the semester. Now I'm really bent on doing well. I need a better GPA and I need internship! HOPEFULLY MTV will accept me... But then there is Overseas ITP to think about. There's a radio one in Melbourne. Kinda fun huh... Oh well...

School's started. I guess it's not that bad. I mean so far I was totally bored in financial planning, I like Spanish, Feature isn't like new to me so it's not that bad, TV... well I was looking forward to it. I guess I'll just have to see what happens on friday now won't I? Web design. The one class that I though I would automatically love, I feel aprehensive. I mean it sounds cool and all but the guy like told us one of our major assignments is a journal. So yea. I've started writing not 1, not 2 but 3 journals! hah! Comm Issues... Well I've got Bangras in tutorials and tha Brian Lee guy in lecture. He strikes me as a really... eccentric kinda person? :P Kinda short though... And PR... I'm kinda freaked out by it but hey, I'll keep an open mind. So tomorrow I've got Web at 8, PR at 12 and Comm Iss at 3. yay.

And somehow my DVD isn't playing. How nice...

YES I am awake! More like I haven't slept yet! haha! Why? I'll tell you why! Coz I've been talking to Jon. From around 1 plus? 2?? Around there till now. In fact we're still talking! I think I'm so wide awake coz we had this MASSIVE argument over who was better and who could beat who up! I mean come on! I can scratch his eyes out! My nails are long again! I can!! In fact, anyone can vouch for me right?? RIGHT?! Haha!

I'm strangely in a good mood although I've no had any sleep yet. God knows how I'm gonna last tonight!

10 Things I Hate About You
(as in the movie...)

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare
Ihate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much is makes me sick -
It even makes me rhyme

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around
And the fact taht you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you -
Not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all

Beautiful isn't it? So easy to relate to. Damnit, shoot me please...

Which part of LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. Don't you get? Is is SO FUCKING HARD to comprehend DO NOT KNOCK ON THE FUCKING DOOR?! I swear, I will be SO FUCKING happy the day you FINALLY decide to FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!! I AM NOT A CHILD ANYMORE!!!!

I give up. Stupid header!! It's sposed to be NICE! It's sposed to say Psychotic Rock Star! I took forever to design it. And this shit ass site refuses to put it up for some strange reason.

I'm looking forward to next Tuesday or Wednesday. And yet I'm a little apprehensive about it. I'm supposed to meet Luke for a bit. To sort things out I suppose. Well then, it's going to be a busy busy first week of school for me then. Isn't that FUN -_-

Kenny and Saf are at Rick's now. I'm too bloody pissed to be the slightest bit envious that some people have all the fun. I'm too pissed with people who are overly mushy. I can't be bothered with friends who ditch you to be with their 'significant' others. Shit man, why can't people practice what they preach?! For that matter, why do people judge each other so much? Hell, I don't even know why I judge people! But I'll tell you one thing. It's good to be concerned over someone but to be self-bloody-righteous and try to make it sound like they HAVE to listen to you is way over the top. I nearly told someone off coz of that today. It's a good thing I was still calm at the time. I am PISSED at people who break their oppointments. Why tell someone you're gonna be there when you are SO FRIGGIN NOT?!

Most of all, I am so damned pissed at the idea that I AM SHOPPING DEPRIVED!!!!!! DAMNIT! *breath* *breath*

There, now that felt remotely better.

I'm SOO looking forward to this Saturday. Going out with my cousins. ALL OF US. Yea the whole Brady Bunch together again. We're gonna go dancing n drinking. And when the clubs close, the NIGHT WILL NEVER END! Hah! I wish huh... On top of that, I find myself looking forward to school. I miss KAP! Hahaha! I miss hanging out with everyone!!!

So it's 2004. Half done with Mass Comm. I'm through with it yet.

Resolutions.........
1. Not let anybody tell me to do anything.
I'm so bloody sick and tired of letting people dictate what I can or cannot do!!! Parental units is one thing but still, I'm not a kid anymore! LET ME GROW UP DAMNIT!!

2. Take up a bloody sport.
I've been wanting to take up some kind of fence, yes fence, in the longest time. Maybe I don't need offence or defence but hey, this is a WANT. It's been a long time since I've had violent tendancies. My sad life.

3. Get better with the guitar.
This one day I went to Yamaha with Anita to check out semi acoustics. So the dude who was showing us the guitars is like this amazing player. Initially I was so stunned that I felt like it was a bloody insult to say I'm a guitarist-in-training. But now it's like I am... INSPIRED to play better. Hah!

4. Get enough brains to sort out my situation with the choir.
It's been a sickening love hate situation I swear... One minute I'm so loving it and the next it's getting on my nerves so badly. But the one thing that's really keeping me grounded is kinda the idea that if I don't sing for the choir then I have no real other place to sing at. If I'm not singing for God then I don't have a real reason to sing. I mean yea, coming from me that's a little freaky but still, I actually do wanna do something for Him yanoe? And yet... there's the idea that I sing for me.

5. Write more songs.
I still suck I swear. But, I'm HOPING that with this guitar thing and all, it'll get better. But I will say one thing, every song I've ever written is from the heart. And I mean every single word. Now if I can only stop writing songs about relationships... *sigh*
Still on the song writing note, I kinda want to help others write songs. I may not be good but I do think that I kinda have something. Everybody can write a song. But not everybody really wants to. Not everybody is writing songs for the right reasons. The flow of inspiration is messy in the sense that there's really no controlling it but all the same, when it comes it comes. I know too bloody well not to hinder or force it though... I've landed in really big fixes that way. And it's not just with song writing. It's kinda in tune with everything. To me, my inspiration is kinda like intuition. It just comes. While on intuition though, I find myself thinking of confirmation camp that was like... 5? 6? years back? Yea... See, we all had to ask for a gift. Like the gift of knowledge, tongues etc. I asked for prophecy. I'm not sure if it's really counted but sometimes I kinda know things before they happen. Kinda like it plays in my mind. I shit you not. It's freaky... God, I miss my tarot deck...

I digress...

6. Write more scripts.
So the MTV thing didn't work out like I wanted it to. I'm not surprised. I hated the ending. It was so... blah... It ended too bloody abruptly. Maybe I should go in and re-edit it. Maybe... All the same, I'm supposed to write another script. About this kid who rises above all difficulties to become the best. It's so over done I know but it's new to me. Plus, it's based on kick boxing. Now if only Jon would tell me what I need to know like he promised!!!!

7. Be outrageous extroverted me. Normal me.
I'm just pissed at myself. Coz I can and will do crazy things. Not shit that hurts people but the kinda things that a lot of people would consider embarassing and stuff. I just wanna be able to do all that and more. Not for fame and stuff but more importantly for me. Coz it is who I am.