I'm SOO looking forward to this Saturday. Going out with my cousins. ALL OF US. Yea the whole Brady Bunch together again. We're gonna go dancing n drinking. And when the clubs close, the NIGHT WILL NEVER END! Hah! I wish huh... On top of that, I find myself looking forward to school. I miss KAP! Hahaha! I miss hanging out with everyone!!!

So it's 2004. Half done with Mass Comm. I'm through with it yet.

Resolutions.........
1. Not let anybody tell me to do anything.
I'm so bloody sick and tired of letting people dictate what I can or cannot do!!! Parental units is one thing but still, I'm not a kid anymore! LET ME GROW UP DAMNIT!!

2. Take up a bloody sport.
I've been wanting to take up some kind of fence, yes fence, in the longest time. Maybe I don't need offence or defence but hey, this is a WANT. It's been a long time since I've had violent tendancies. My sad life.

3. Get better with the guitar.
This one day I went to Yamaha with Anita to check out semi acoustics. So the dude who was showing us the guitars is like this amazing player. Initially I was so stunned that I felt like it was a bloody insult to say I'm a guitarist-in-training. But now it's like I am... INSPIRED to play better. Hah!

4. Get enough brains to sort out my situation with the choir.
It's been a sickening love hate situation I swear... One minute I'm so loving it and the next it's getting on my nerves so badly. But the one thing that's really keeping me grounded is kinda the idea that if I don't sing for the choir then I have no real other place to sing at. If I'm not singing for God then I don't have a real reason to sing. I mean yea, coming from me that's a little freaky but still, I actually do wanna do something for Him yanoe? And yet... there's the idea that I sing for me.

5. Write more songs.
I still suck I swear. But, I'm HOPING that with this guitar thing and all, it'll get better. But I will say one thing, every song I've ever written is from the heart. And I mean every single word. Now if I can only stop writing songs about relationships... *sigh*
Still on the song writing note, I kinda want to help others write songs. I may not be good but I do think that I kinda have something. Everybody can write a song. But not everybody really wants to. Not everybody is writing songs for the right reasons. The flow of inspiration is messy in the sense that there's really no controlling it but all the same, when it comes it comes. I know too bloody well not to hinder or force it though... I've landed in really big fixes that way. And it's not just with song writing. It's kinda in tune with everything. To me, my inspiration is kinda like intuition. It just comes. While on intuition though, I find myself thinking of confirmation camp that was like... 5? 6? years back? Yea... See, we all had to ask for a gift. Like the gift of knowledge, tongues etc. I asked for prophecy. I'm not sure if it's really counted but sometimes I kinda know things before they happen. Kinda like it plays in my mind. I shit you not. It's freaky... God, I miss my tarot deck...

I digress...

6. Write more scripts.
So the MTV thing didn't work out like I wanted it to. I'm not surprised. I hated the ending. It was so... blah... It ended too bloody abruptly. Maybe I should go in and re-edit it. Maybe... All the same, I'm supposed to write another script. About this kid who rises above all difficulties to become the best. It's so over done I know but it's new to me. Plus, it's based on kick boxing. Now if only Jon would tell me what I need to know like he promised!!!!

7. Be outrageous extroverted me. Normal me.
I'm just pissed at myself. Coz I can and will do crazy things. Not shit that hurts people but the kinda things that a lot of people would consider embarassing and stuff. I just wanna be able to do all that and more. Not for fame and stuff but more importantly for me. Coz it is who I am.