AND LIVE FROM MELBOURNE (the best FUCKING place on EARTH!)

omg omg omg!! I so totally love Melbourne!! I've been having the time of my life here hanging with Anita who I've not seen in forever... And I finally met Jon too! Plus all his friends who've been uber nice to me :)

All that said, I really do miss home? I miss my boys and I miss my family. I even miss Saf too haha... It's been a long long time eh? I'm just happy that in a sense I'm really able to get myself back on track now. It's still messy no doubt but it's been pretty ok...

I'm actually budgeting pretty well too! So far everything's been real easy coz I've got transport and all? I'm a little worried about tomorrow and saturday considering that I don't really have a place to stay and stuff. Ah well...

All the same, I'm missing you guys LOADS! If you guys wanna reach me here, I've got my phone with me, just ring me up. And if the Singapore SIM card isn't going through, give anyone of my boys a ring and get my Aussie number from them ya?

Love you all! Miss you to the core!! (I miss Thess and Pan!! :( )

Black Cat and the Moon

I'm so spiteful aren't I? Just about as indecisive and idiotic as can be. I guess I do miss you and all. It's hard, I know. I'm still trying my best to get things back on track again. After all, my last sememester is coming up and I have to get things done right. Not to mention I'm gonna be in Australia in ilke what, 2 days? Yea...

I'm sort of kind of having second thoughts in a sense. But again you can't really blame me. I'd rather stay home where I've got people to support me now coz again I feel like I crumbled.

Stupidly, I've developed a habit of turning off my email box so half the time my mail doesn't come through till it's too late. And I was awake really early today too. Imagine. Had I seen the email... I would've... Well.. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I really hope you're happy?

Went to the beach on Tuesday with Rick, Kenny, Audrey, Ben, Dalvin, Miguel and Debbie. Had shit loads of fun at Palawan beach. Of course I couldn't help but remember what happened the last time I was there... This time, I went into the water! hahaha!! Had soooo much fun!!! It was unbelievable!!! Heck, I'm still aching all over from it! Not to mention my head and gut haven't quite been the same since! I can't wait till when I come back coz we're gonna go AGAIN! Before I go back to school! This year, I might be heading down to Zouk Out too... All depending on how tired I am I guess? Hope I won't be that exhausted this time! And I sure as hell hope that no one gets hurt... But I can guarantee, there will be A LOT MORE alcohol this time... And perhaps more people who will buy even MORE booze? :P

I don't know how often I'll blog when I'm in Australia but I'll try as often as I can. I turn 19 soon!!!!w00t!

And, I'm trying darling... I really am... Just that you can't understand it.

Another strange picture. Nothing happened man! This is ME and LUKE. Brother and Sister!! No incestuous bull crap ok! I love the guys to bits and would give anything to take em to Oz with me. 

Just little ol' me sitting on the counter making faces at Audrey again. Trust her to take me in the best light eh? I'm still amazed that the pictures all came out this nice 

Me and Rick again. After I tried to pummel him considering he was sooo wasted! Haha! It was amusing what I can I say! I love being violent! 

I don't really remember what we were talking about but it's a good picture all the same isn't it? 

My Brudders!! Now where did Kenny go... 

What I was hot and we were trying get to get away from Raggedy Ann and the camera of horror!!! :D 

ARGH!!!!! Jet Planes...

I am leaving on EK 404 20th November at 1500h Singapore time. Arriving 0110h Melbourne time at Melbourne INternational. And I come home on the 1st December at 2030h Melbourne time and touch down at 0105h Singapore time on EK 405.

Hmm... Turns out I might not be able to stay with Jon after all. He's got exams. Damned exams. Even more reason for me to hate them!!! ARGH!!!!! Wel at least I've still got anita right? :) I don't know what I'll be doing there at this point. Let's hope I don't like get lost and shit huh. Oh well... Mel is worried. Very VERY VERY worried. But hey, I'm still going aren't I...

MeL doubts.

You're the Angel of Snow. Neither evil, nor good,
you're simply indifferent, coldly indifferent.
You like your peace, being alone, you're a
little cynik with the others... Anti-social ...
what are you trying to hide behind this
shield...?


If you were an Angel... which would be your path?
brought to you by Quizilla

And to think that Kenny and Audrey are Neo. Not to mention in the horsemen quiz, I'm War and they two of em plus Rick are Death. Hmm... Am I the only unique one here?

Have A Nice Life

Ever get the feeling that you're being used? Somehow I feel I am. I'm not trying to demoinze anyone but that is genuinely the way I feel. Maybe I am being protective of someone I have no right to be protective of. But all the same, I'm being used. And I don't like it. You think I don't know? Heh... If I ever get hard proof of what you're doing, I will bring you down with me. We all know I'm going to hell as it is don't we.

I kinda wanna get a couch for my already cluttered room. Well, more like a back rest that I can hook onto my bed so that when I'm on the computer I don't have to kill my back in the process. Heh...

I can't stand holier than thous who feel the need to lie to me. It's irritating. I can't stand it. I never liked using people and I avoid it. But I still do don't I? I use, and lose. It's as simple as that. And now in the middle of everything, I wonder if it's really worth the trouble. Evidently, it's not or else I wouldn't even be contemplating it now would I. All we as mortals do is run around in the pure amusement of others' messed up lives. So what if you're happy. In fact, I don't think you are at all. You talk about the future as if it's such a bright and happy place. But for how long? People do die.

My Uncle just passed away. I spent the last 3 days in a daze. Not exactly distraught but not normal either. Normal for me that is. It's an eye opener from all those times that I've given up on myself and life at all. I see my entire family. All of us. Excluding those who are overseas though. But seriously, how often do I get ALL of them in ONE place, praying for the same thing. Or more or less the same thing. I don't. Is that what it takes? Death? I'll tell you honestly, I didn't want to be there. I don't like mourning. I am sick of crying, of worrying. Maybe that strange anonymous tagger was right. MAYBE I am an Ice Queen. If I am, so be it. But if I am, why in God's name was I crying my eyes out. Why did I feel so lost. I try and look at the future as a brighter place. It's not is it...

I'm 18 bloody years old without a single purpose in life except to just be me. And even that I can't seem to get down. I can't stand having to hide my habits from people. So let the world know that Mel loves to drink, loves to smoke and all that other stuff that my wonderful holier than thou family deems unacceptable. Go ahead and live in denial that I'm such an angel. I'm probably the worst of the lot. So yea I might not do crazy things like some of them have done but don't dare me. Trust me, you don't want to know what I'm capable of. I'm in a amusingly destructive mood.

I wonder where everyone is. And where they stand. With regards to everything I've just said. But it's just a plain, simple, innocent thought. I don't give a fuck if they're in some corner screwing around. Hehehehe! At this point, I'd like to wish the happy couple in Canada all the best. And I hope you live a life without deceit. I wish the happy couple in Singapore the same thing as well. May the lot of you learn to bloody accept each other for what you really are and never have to lie to each other. I wish for the bloody impossible don't I. And to the people that I have/still love/d, have a nice life because I really don't want a part of it anymore? Friends yea. More? NO FUCKING WAY. To my bestfriends, you guys rawk my world. You're there as often as you possibly can be and I appreciate it. No, really.

I hope everyone reading this has had a wonderful weekend because I, sure as hell DID NOT.

I turn 19 in a little under a month. Yay.

Whatever.