After 2 excruciatingly long weeks, I've finally got my internet back. Never the less, I'm at Sanjay's. No I'm not doing my assignments even though I know that I really really should. Heh. After finishing the pathology assignment, planning for the first half of the research paper AND doing the first 4 lab exercises, I'm tired out. My sleeping pattern is fucked but hey, I've done a lot in just a few days and I bloody deserve a break.

I hate the idea that I keep getting blamed for things that I have absolutely nothing to do with. I hate that I have to sit there and pretend that nothing's going on when it's so blatantly obvious that something is. I'm tired so having to live out my entire life constantly worrying about one person or another because they are compelled to treat me as less than a person. To treat me like a dumping ground where they can take their shit and blame it all on me. I've had more than enough.

But on better notes, I'm addicted to poker via facebook. But let's face it, with the world poker tournament playing on foxtel, there's no comparison is there? Hehehe. Damnit, I can't take my laptop out to watch and do work all because I volunteered to download our weekly dosage of anime. Meh...

Is it selfish to think that some people don't deserve what they have? I think it is. I don't like feeling that way. I'm happy that people are happy and yet... why I can't I be happy for them?

I think it's because once upon a time, they hurt me. That once upon a time they broke me. But it's ok now isn't it? It's all good now that I've found a reason to pick up the pieces. It's good that I found someone who'll keep me safe.

I guess I just miss a lot of people right now. Especially you Muffin-man

He was gifted to me. The best and the worst gift I could have been given. I've been ripped apart yet again. I never thought that I'd have to deal with it. I just want to put it out there. Put it in words for the world to see.

It grows harder and yet easier every day. I'm slowly making sense of things. But sometimes I wish I could see. Or hear. Even feel. I want it al don't I. I want it all even though I know that I will shatter. Maybe it's just really a personification of everything that I want. Maybe deep down that's what draws me to this. I really wouldn't be surprised.

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

Lips of an Angel, Hinder