I didn't think that it was possible for me to become this blinded. It's a vicious cycle isn't it? A huge huge cycle that I've gone and trapped myself in. I thought that maybe, just MAYBE, this would be ok. That finally it was something really good. Talk about jinxing it huh. I'm not saying that it's totally not good. Some parts are wonderful. And it's for those parts that I'm still struggling to make it.

You know, at the end of the day right, if you don't make the choice for yourself, then who are you making it for? Is it worth it to sacrifice your happiness for the happiness of another? In the long run, do you think that you'll be happy living someone else's life and not your own?

Right now, I've made my choice and I'm going to stick with it. No matter what, I'll stick with it. I'm just sitting here now, trying to figure out if this is it. If this really is it.

Must everything be so... Bittersweet

Still don't know what's going to happen from here. Still trying really hard to keep it together. But you know... I'll make it work somehow. I'll make it run smoothly. Or I'll die trying. Coz at the end of the day, if I don't, no one else can.

I'm going on Tuesday. Now that it's fast approaching, I know that I won't see this place for a long time. I know that... I'll have to be strong. I always do don't I? I at least have to try.