isn't it just?

What is this strange smell that has invaded my room? What is this foreign emotion that has crept into my cerebrum? What is this strange thought that crawled it's way into my mind? What is this person that has resurfaced? If being is so perfect, than why do I feel so... Flawed?

I feel like I've suddenly acquired this strange ability to... care. I suddenly find myself caring about the way I look, worrying about the way I dress. Bothering over what I say. How very peculiar. I suppose I do remember the last I felt that way. I didn't like it very much.

I never liked having to explain myself to people or worry if I say the wrong thing. And yet now I care. But with these new people that I'm growing to love spending time with, I find that I can be me. As flawed and as imperfect a person I am, as fickle, contradictory and complicated as I am, I can just be me. In a way I'm happy. And yet on the flip side, I worry. Can people really love me for the me that I am? Or do they love me for the me that they think I am?

"Under the dim lighting and loud music that accompanied my ears, I struggled to find my way. Every now and then, familiar faces would greet me as I fumbled and bumped my way through the crowd. I was still trying to catch my breath when all of a sudden, I saw her.

There she was draped in that pale blue shirt and denim skirt that flattered her slender legs. She waved at me with her perfect smile intact. It's the same smile that always used to greet me along the passageways in school whenever we ran into each other. The gentle face that conveys kindness and grace. She is the girl that everyone loves. The kindred soul that permeates the lives of those who dare venture into her presence. She is the torch that illuminates the dark, vacant spaces in the deep recesses of our souls. A rare beauty unlike any other I've seen. She boasts of talent, intelligence and a good heart. Hence, it comes to me as no surprise if there should be any who envies or despises her just for being what she is.

That said, it's easy to forget that underneath all the superficiality - the layers of make-up to hide the imperfections and the lovely outfits that speaks of impeccable taste and style - lies a simple girl who craves perfection, love and acceptance as much as we all do...Her cheerfulness belies her insecurities and the sorrow that shrouds her thoughts. It is not the notion of perfection that endears her to me. Rather, it's the fact that despite all the greatness that she is, she is and always will be of all things...human.

So to this girl I say, thank you..."

This is from my beautiful cousin, Anastasia's blog. It gave me a peace that I thought I could never find within myself. It was written by a friend of hers. A person called Su. I might have met him before. I can't quite remember though.

People inspire me. They inspire me to try. To live. And most importantly, to keep my love of music. My melodies that are unheard by many. These people fuel my songs and therefore indirectly, they fuel me.

Thank you for just being you.