beer stained carpet, cigarette ashed table

You know, I thought I sorted things out and I was pretty ok for a while. Until I realised that the issue isn't about guys.

One minute he says he'll wait for me. And that things are going to be ok. Well, if you're going to wait for a person than I don't suppose guilt tripping them is going to work right? I've been running on so little sleep this week. My brain's turned to mush, and my thoughts are so scrambled.

I don't know what to do. I mean, what am I supposed to say? What I am supposed to say to myself? Honestly, I thought that the feeling of losing the guy I loved was the worst feeling in the world. And then I meet these people who love music as much as I do. Not to mention that they love my music. And now I don't know if it's going to be entirely possible for them to record my songs, I don't know if I can sing with them because of all this. So not only am I heartbroken from the previous relationship, confused about everything that's happening now, but my love of music is being compromised as well?

And you know what the worst thing about all this is? I can't talk to anyone about it. It's killing me.

PS: For fuck's sakes, NOTHING HAPPENED!

UPDATE: update: he can't take no for an answer. n if he's trying to piss me off, it's working. he's beginning to give off the stalker vibe. I'm so freaked out that I don't even want to leave my blinds up anymore. I'm too shaken to even walk into the kitchen.

If it's a choice between my sanity and my music, I think I'll keep my sanity.