It's a Pity

Blue Velvet is creepy. Disturbing, morbid, embedded in fantasy and yet very real. Honestly there were particular scenes that are already beginning to replay over and over in my mind. I can understand why Mel enjoyed it. I guess I could as well if I had a drink or two to warm me up. But yes, disturbing.

It made me think about things. Like how I do things. Perhaps I really should just cut my losses and look forward. Enough with the whole self pity. I'm better than that. Aren't I?

I spoke to Amran yesterday. And at the end of our conversation she told me to be nice to myself. Nice. Being nice. I didn't quite understand it at the time but I'm beginning to get it now. Being good to myself equates to letting myself do the things that I love, and doing the things that won't lead to my own ruin. So in a weird way, I've not been very nice to myself have I? Pity... Such a pity....

That reminds of that song that I'm still hunting for. Oh well... So here's to cutting my loses. Then, I'll have to work on quitting smoking. And eventually quitting drinking. I'm quite serious about it. But unfortunately, I like smoking too much. So, how on earth am I going to do this? I can't waste the pack. Nor can I save it. So since it's almost gone anyways, what say I finish this and then see how long I can last?