When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
when you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

- Fix You, Coldplay

I can. I will. I have. I know it. You're going to be ok again. I want to believe it so much that I will it to be. So many people love and care for you. I don't claim to love you the most. You're blood and that's enough. I grew up with you and I hate to see you fall and I hate to see people mess with you. I love you. You know I do. You're my brother. My biological brother. I care too much to let you lose. That's just the way I am.

Words cannot express what I feel at this point. It's chaotic and yet peaceful. I am at a strange peace amidst the chaos around me. And there's just one thing that keeps me going right now. I know that I'm coming home to you.

I watched an Australian film called "The Castle" today. It's funny. Stupid but funny. But not stupidly funny.

I digress...

Well, the one bit about the movie that I won't forget is this. "It's not a house. It's a home." A home is where your family is. The people that love you. The people that care just because. And I'll be there soon. If only for a while. Words cannot speak for the memories that we share. From strange couch fortresses to candy that was spoiiled a long the way. Strange prehistoric metamorphoses... Crystal dogs and nailed moths. Buffalo wallets and cigarettes. Oriental culture and old men drinks. Don't you see it? The beauty of what we still have? Not just with each other but with all those around us. Can't you see it? I can. I've erased my thoughts of the things that aren't worth remembering. I've made the troubles disappear.

Although I have more than just family waiting for me when I return, they are the most important thing to me now. The love I have for them is more important than anything in the world. Nothing else compares to how much I would give up. I would give anything for you to be at peace again. Rest well my brother. Be safe. I'll be with you soon.