"And by the way you brought me here,
it makes me believe the best is still yet to come and I don't want to leave.
Forgive my hesitation but I'm learning to trust in you.
Help me to dream these dreams because I don't have a clue.

And if you'd be honest and say what you mean
you know I would promise I'd do anything
because I know that without you I'm giving it away."
- Giving it Away, Mae

Sometimes it just takes one song to describe everything. They have different meanings to different people. And this song in particular, makes me want to cry. I want to trust people. I really do. I want something substantial. Something real. And I some how can't see it happening. I suppose that's the way it looks all things considering. I don't even know if I'm ready myself. Chances are if I jump into something now it's going to end really terribly and I don't want that. We're friends. People whose paths have crossed. I have everything to lose here. And if you can't see that then it only reinforces everything that I just said. So unless there's something that can convince us that something real is going to come out of this then... yeah... I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I've just got too much on my mind now. And this flu/lethargy/whatever is really getting to me. I want... I don't know what I want. I can't look at things the same way anymore. I don't even know myself. I can't tell if I care about people as much as I used to.

I will say this. Millions of times if I have to. I love you guys. More than anything in this world.

And I'll just end off with something I said to Jada. "Don't let your nightmares take away your dreams."