breaking

Shouldn't this be better? Shouldn't I feel a little better at least? I should shouldn't I? But... I don't. I feel sick. It's an emptiness that keeps on growing. I don't quite know how to explain it. I know that a couple of days ago I found myself very irritated at a certain individual. And all I have to say to this individual is, what the fuck do you take me for? I may have been stupid before but not now.

Today, I found myself irritated again. I found that I couldn't stop crying this morning. Or this afternoon for that matter. The benefit about it was, I let it all go. It was alright I suppose. But, the depression isn't subsiding. I don't know why. It should but it isn't. But... it was ok. Being sad. With no one to bother me. I don't need rescuing guys. I don't... And if I did, trust me I would have made sure I had been.

I guess... I'm just a little lost right now. I'm hoping (yes, hoping) that someone finds me. Someone who can actually help me. And not someone that's just going to disappear.

"here i'm in between darkness and light
bleached and blinded by these nights
where im tossing and tortured til dawn
by you, visions of you then youre gone
the shock lifts the red from my face
when i hear someone's taking my place
how could love be so thoughtless, so cruel
when all, all that i did was for you"