don't ask me what you know is true

Over a year ago, a friend of mine encountered a dream after listening to the continuous playing of music that I insisted on listening to over and over relentlessly. I understand why it had bothered her so. I thought that I knew who it was that she saw then, I was very mistaken. I know now who she saw for I see them myself. I see it with each time I dream, I see it with each reflective glance.

For quite some time, I've felt a wound within myself festering and growing larger and larger as though I've lost something very dear to me to the point of no return. As it turns out, I still haven't the slightest knowledge of regaining what I have lost. After all, how can one regain what is lost when one does not know what it is to begin with. All the same, this burning still wears me down leaving me with much grief.

Do you remember what it was like when you lost your favourite toy be it to decay of time or just misplacement? It is a fraction of what is going through my head. I wish I could find a way to explain it more clearly, I wish that I may someday regain my lost dreams, my dashed hopes and treasure them with the belief that one day they will be mine for the taking.

As often said by many including myself, it is very easy to forgive but it is not easy to forget. And I will not be able to forget the things that have had such a great effect on me. The scars within me will never fade even as forgiveness washes away all malcontent. May the notion of vengeance be lifted from my mind. It should have no place within my heart. Not now when there are many things to cloud my judgement.