What would you do if you knew that the things around you are in contradiction to what you've come to believe in? Do you try and revert back to what has been conditioned into your mind to be right? Do you ponder on what exactly is the right thing to do as I am?

This holidays have been somewhat quiet. Why? Because I'm making it a point to stay out of trouble. To stay away from situations and people that will inevitably land me in trouble. Trying very hard even though it's hurting me a lot more than I let it show.

I really needed all this down time but how much is too much. Have I pushed myself to a place where I can't seem to pull myself out of? A place where people are watching my every move. Where people keep on accusing me of doing and saying things that I didn't and couldn't have possibly said because I've gone into blardy isolation?

Is it possible for me to fix problems that I never caused? To fix things that I didn't have a hand in but have had myself shoved straight into the middle of the mess? I don't think I can. I've done all that I ever could and if they still want to go on thinking that it's my fault when I know that I didn't do anything wrong I can't fix it can I? What am I supposed to do? Take the blame when it's not my fault? Does that make me the bigger person? I don't think so. It just makes me the scapegoat.

The one way ticket to solving all your problems is blaming me isn't it. Let's blame MeL coz she won't do or say anything in return. Well, I hope you're happy now. I really do. And maybe one day you'll come to realise that I didn't have jack shit to do with it. But even then, it'll probably be too late.