don't wanna be anything

People keep expecting me to be someone that I'm not. Friends, family, they all want me to be someone that I don't want to be. I don't want to be fake. I just want to be me. But lately it has become more and more difficult. I'm home. If I can't be myself here than who can I be?

Like I said, each time I come and go, I change. Even if it's a little, they keep thinking I changed. But the only part of me that's changing is the part of me that's not real - the mask. I'm becoming more me every single day and because of that they all think that I'm different.

I am quiet. I don't like making too much noise. I don't appreciate people who talk to much. I don't like people who say and do more than they need or want to. I never want to be like that. I am just as I should be. And if you lot can't accept that than so be it. I'm happy with who I am unlike you. I believe in what I choose to believe in, not what other people think I should be. I shouldn't have to be what people want me to be. It's wrecking my own peace of mind.

I want to be me. The only girl my age I know who can sit and play games for hours. The same girl that smokes, drinks, does whatever the hell she wants, believe whatever the hell she wants, does whatever she wants, when she wants. And as such, I will. I'll work within my constraints. You can't stop me. No one can stop me. Not anymore.

I miss you damnit