too much too little too late (20 questions)

Why is it that people keep landing themselves in positions where they do nothing but sink deeper into messes? Why do they keep doing the things that they know will eventually lead to their downfall?

Better yet, instead of asking why other people do it, perhaps it's best that I try and understand why I do it. It's times like this that I think I really need help. Professional help. I think I'm too messed up for myself to handle it. This switch in personalities has been bugging me for far too long as I'm sure most of you can tell. But... my family would never understand. My parents wouldn't understand. I just want to be... normal. I want to be able to be myself without being diagnosed as crazy. I want to be free of all these constraints that people thrust upon me. Constraints that I enforce upon myself.

I box myself up and keep my emotions to myself. It's slowly chewing at my sanity and what's left of my already condemned soul. It's nice that you have so much faith in me. But what you don't realise is, it's pressurising. I can't seem to talk to people. I have issues to deal with but I have so many. Too many to list out. So much to say to the point that I don't know how to begin. I wish I could. I wish I could be me.