I do as freely as I wish

All the ploys. All the games. Was it worth it? Was it worth the trouble? Was it worth the mess? Do you think that it made an awful lot of sense to have had those decisions made? Does it make you feel better? Really. Does it?

Do you feel on top of the world now? I don't think you do. You're drifting in between places, in between emotions and it has turned you a monster. You are more out of synch now that you have ever been. I know you're scared. So am I. I'll still there. But you will never tell me. You will never be able to face me. I will find out. I will see. But you will never know that I know. You will never understand what it is like to be on the other side. You do not know what I have sacrificed. You will never see it coming. You will never know what I am willing to sacrifice.

Perhaps it's my way of dealing with it. Perhaps it is just me being selfish. But guess what. You don't have a choice. You don't have a say in what I choose to do be it for myself or for you.

I miss you dearly. It's been one week. Only one week. I will be seeing you soon. I know I will. You know I will. But what is left for you to choose is the manner in which I see you. You will always have that choice. You do have a choice to spit in all our sacrifices and everything that any of us have fought so hard to preserve. That is your choice. But if you force my hand, I will end it all and I will make it so that you will regret having me as one of yours.

My love for you will always be infinite. But God have mercy on your soul should I need to make the moves I have lying in the dark.