many things at one time

You know what, scratch that.

I have decided that if anything, I shouldn't go looking to outside sources for help. If I can't help myself then what's the point. I know what I am, I know what I believe in and I don't really need to let some random stranger try and psycho analyse me. There are a lot of things about myself that I choose to keep private and a lot of things that I can let people see.

Having said that, I recently reaffirmed the fact that I am never alone. That and the fact that I am loved.

I do as freely as I wish. That will never change. And good luck to you if you try to take that from me.

On other things, Madhavi's birthday's coming up. In two days time in fact. And it is going to be BIG! I'm looking forward to that. There may be some things about it that I don't look forward to but it's ok. Kenny's right. I always have a choice. And I know me, I will find a way. I will find my way. And I will be safe.

And yet... you're always in my head. Always so near me. And yet at times I feel like you're so distant. You protect me I understand that. You care for me, I know this. My wonderful star. I wish things were simpler. But if they were, then everything would be different. And I might have not known of you or your warm embrace. My choice is my own. We all know that. Even though sometimes I wish it weren't mine to make, I know that I must. But for now, at least while I can still be as I am now, I want to stay within the warmth.