Self torture = NEVER good

Neither is dwelling or panicking for that matter. But, looking forward? Now there's something that is good. I'm being as positive as I possibly can be. And so far it's a good thing. I think. Well... Yea.

Sometimes, I sit and wonder what might have been. If I had taken a different approach or a different option. I often find that I don't care much for one too many choices. However, I do like to have a concise back up plan.

Winter is fading but it's still cold and bitter. I played pool with Daniel earlier. And he said something that got me thinking. He said, look at the sky, it's beautiful. Turns out, it was. Just that I've been so preoccupied with idiotic things that I never really noticed the beauty of the things around me. It's another thing to keep me going. The little things that I used to love so much. The little things that people say that I can never forget. I know I'll be ok.

Imagine what life would be like if we all just looked at the small things. Wouldn't it be wonderful?

I just ate. Yes. I have food again. Evelyne went to the super market and she got me my eggs and of all things to ask for, I ask for spam. And now I feel sick.

Ick. I used to love luncheon meat but this stuff? Dear God, it is tooo much! Too much!! Really, toooo much.

Seriously, I put too much into things that don't really matter. And when I shove my soul into the things that I think do, I get burned. So, what should I do? Space myself away? Hmmm... I doubt. If I have to be socially inept or more importantly, uncaring, to avoid getting hurt, I'd rather get hurt.

Playing: Full of Grace, Sarah McLachlan