balance

Another day has gone by and I feel safe and at peace here. This is my home. As much as I despise the heat. I realise that I am not the only person that is running from one problem or another. There are loads of us out there. Heck, the ones we are running from are also running from their own issues.

So far, this has been calming. And without much worry. I feel like there is no real need to trouble myself too much. Because now, everything is as it should be and I am truly happy. But still not without worry for the day where I will have to stop running. No more wind in my face, no more laughing at blatant stupidity and acts of ignorance. Inevitably, I will still have to deal with the things that up to now, I still have no wish to deal with.

I watched Miami Vice today with Kenny's classmates and one of his lecturers. I have mixed feelings about that movie. It was stupid at times but at the same time, there were parts of it that I could truly appreciate. Also, I have realised that as much as I love my work, there is still much room for improvement and I intend on doing just that.

Life is not a game where there is a save and reload function. Shit happens and we can't turn the clock back. People say very stupid things when they are in ridiculous states of minds. And in such, they care not about who they step on or who gets hurt along the way. It disgusts me. The lack of concern. It's revolting to realise that I have had close encounters with such people. But at the end of the day, they will still have to deal with themselves on top of all the other problems that they have brought upon themselves.

Even if Melbourne seems bleak and depressing, there is always the prospect of coming back home. Or the people that I socialise with there. People who keep me sane and grounded. My sanity is something that wavers very easily. As is my heart. But not my resolve. I have my ways of getting things done and although my methods may be unorthodox, they are thorough. Because at the end of the day, how many of us can really say that their lives were worth lived. I'm only 20. And I can honestly say that mine is. All of them have brought me to this place and this time. As bleak as most of my thoughts are, there is always a light shining in the dark.

Fall in the light my loves. Shold you ever find yourselves falling, fall in the light. The dark is not something that everybody can fall into and live to tell the tale.