I had a dream. It felt like I was a snake leaving behind a perfect mould of myself. And after wiggling and squirming, I looked at this... puppet on the bed and realised it wasn't a mould, I was staring at myself. Staring a total shock as the past few days replayed right in front of me. I felt so disgusted. I kept screaming no, no, NO! And still... It wouldn't stop. It never does.

I realise now what that dream meant. I'm still kicking myself over it mind you. It's not nice. It's never nice. Never have I ever felt more disgusted with myself. So what am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to trust myself? Trust you? Trust people? I'm finding it harder and harder each day.

How can I believe a person whose story is different each time it's told? You are a child in my eyes. I'm still trying to make sense of all this. I just hate the ambiguity. I have a lot more to live for than you could ever imagine. And until you realise that I don't necessarily need you, you will never get me.

Sometimes you amaze me because of the things you say. But my opinion of you dies down because you hardly listen to yourself.