don't let it slip through

I didn't realise I already had... 943 posts. I didn't realise that I actually blogged that much. So far, I've managed to get two songs out in about 3 days. My assignment... Oh my assignment... I'm still very much in denial.

My mind is clouded with so many different things. September is around the corner. September is never a good month for me. It's always been full of messy encounters arguments over nothing and just plain depression. I'm hoping that this year it'll be different.

I... I guess you could say that I'm actually doing pretty good. I'm happy. Confident. But at the same time paranoid as hell. I keep wondering when I'm going to screw up next. I think Eliza calls it misguided anticipation. Anxiety is my downfall. I can't help but panic and jump the shark. Especially when dealing with things that matter the most to me.

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow or within the next 5 minutes. But I do know what's happening with me now. I know what I feel, I know what I have to do and I know what I have to give up. I want to be able to wake up in the morning and be proud of myself. Just like how I woke up this morning. Or yesterday morning. Or the morning before that. I never want this feeling to fade. Well except perhaps the paranoia. But all the same, I never want this feeling to go away.