I won't claim to understand what you're going through. I can barely imagine what it would be like. We're different people you and I. The one thing that we're bound by, is friendship. We're only getting older aren't we? Bigger responsibilities, bigger responsibilities, an infinite amount of emotions that we can't seem to shake.

Moving on seems like running away doesn't it? Just another temporary escape until we finally manage to figure out what the real problem is. For me, the problem is just in me. It's usually the case for others as well. We look to the outside and blame other people and in the process we hurt the people we love the most. Our friends, family... The people we thought would stick by us till kingdom come. I hope you have the strength to stop yourself before something really bad happens. No. You can stop it. I don't need to hope for it do I?

I can hope. I am hoping. It doesn't come as easily to me as it used to. My hope comes from a myriad of thoughts and countless roads that I have chosen for myself. The life I lead now is one that I have moulded for myself. It's not pretty or fine and dandy but it's still what I chose. I'm not sad or angry with it. In fact, with all it's difficulties and frustration, I'm actually happier than you'd think I am.

We all have our own shit. Our own issues. And until we sort them out, or at least see that it's not really that bad, we'll remain caught in a web. The same web that we spin for ourselves. So hang in there. You aren't alone. When you can see that you've got people by your side, nothing's impossible. In fact, even if it's just you again this mad world, have faith. Faith that you'll turn out ok. Faith that you aren't forgotten and that somewhere out there, someone does care about you. And maybe even love you.

But for now, I want to be able to see. I want to be able to feel. What is this... notion of love and care that keeps me going.

PS: I read in the toilet too.