the girl and the gods

It is the least you could have done. I trusted you. This is MY life we're talking about here. I'm not some object that's without feeling or emotion. And if you think this is what you should do than so be it. Don't say a word to me anymore. I give up. I have tried so hard. So just go ahead. Go ahead and just do whatever you want. Because I have come to a point were I don't want to care any more. I just don't want to butt in when clearly I'm not wanted. Heck, I'm not even going to say anything more to you. I hope you know what you're doing. All of you. Do you really think I'm that stupid? All I wanted was to be happy and even that tiny shred of bliss, you want to take? Honestly, there is only so much a person can take. Why. That's all I want to know. I have not done ANYTHING that warrants this. I know that you're an important part of my life and my typing all this out and saying things is enough. I know you hear me cry. Just think about it, is this doing anyone else good? They love me and I love them. It's beautiful that way. I don't need to know everything nor do I want to. I just wish... I just wish you knew. Or you could tell me.

Perhaps in the aspiration to live my own life, I've lost sight of myself. And I know I said that I keep looking at myself in the mirror and still not be able to recognise the girl that's staring back at me. Only now do I realise I don't recognise her because I've been seeing myself in the eyes of others who seemingly would love nothing more than to see me fall. Well, I've got news for you, it's me. It's just me. I'm not that big of a threat. I'm not a threat at all. I'd love to believe that maybe a small fragment of myself is understood by those I call friend. But if even you can't see that than what? I thought you were there for me. Well it seems that I thought wrong. Not once have I said anything against you. And I know that this is a huge disrespect but guess what, I am not afraid of you. You cannot hurt me. You cannot keep doing these things to me. And for fuck's sakes, you CANNOT take the people I love away from me so just stop trying because it's pointless and most of all, annoying.