I'm just so damned frustrated with everything that's happening. It's like I keep trying and trying and nothing is happening. Maybe I really should just go. Leave. 10 years later who knows, I may have made enough to support myself in Ireland. Maybe 10 years down the road I'll be dead. I'm sick and tired of always having to worry about everyone else. I'm just gonna worry about ME now. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I keep letting the entire world get to me. They say they love me and they care but they don't. They spew all these lies of how they are concerned and shit when they don't give a flying fuck. All I'm here for is for you to use as your emotional punching bag right? Isn't that what I am? What makes me so different from you?

Do you notice that people always slowly disappear? Where is this person where is that person. I find that I like to quietly disappear and just get myself out of the entire situation or group. It must be nice to always have someone to fall back on. I wish I did.

Why do people like to make everything about them so disgustingly awful? Woe is me blah blah blah, have pity on me coz of this and that. God, the world is full of whiney shit heads! I'm not saying I'm not one of them but after a while even I stop. Where do the rest of these knuckle heads get their energy from? Perpetually going on about how I don't know this I don't know that, I never had the change for this never had the chance for that when it's right in their faces. Irritation.

Sometimes though, it's nice to have that feeling that in all the irritation and stupidity of it all, you only need something as simple as a shoulder to cry on. Or just someone to bitch with. It's easier for me that way I guess. All I need is my music. A good song, a right song can make me have hope in this bleak world again. That's life I guess. You keep looking and looking and looking until you find that perfect song. That one song that can help. Even if you know it's temporary, you've gotta sift through a whole bunch of genres before you find the one that you'll always love. I think Cia might know what I mean. :)