MeL Lives, Dies, Loves, Cries. MeL is.

I'm still awake, more importantly, I'm still alive. I miss you guys loads already and it's only been a few hours since I last saw you lot. I love you to bits and I'm happy that you lot have always been there for me.

I realize how insanely childish I've been over the stupidest of things. And you know what? For once in my entire life, I think I can be ok. Ok, safe and really happy. Don't know why it took me so long to figure that out... All I can say is that I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. Please don't worry so much about me ok? Kinda makes me feel really bad coz you guys are spending what little free time you have hanging out with me just to make sure that I don't do anything stupid because of stupid people.

Jed is amazing. He says the strangest of things that make me smile, cry, die and melt inside. He's really helping me through all of this. I think things might be able to work out now that I know what's really happening. And it's thanks to him. Pity things became so complicated. But, I know and have always known that I'll be ok because I have you guys (Luke, Rick & Kenny), Jed, Geoff, Mary-Ann, Tav and a whole lot of other people who at this point mean the world to me and will therefore always be in my heart no matter where I go or whatever happens.

Jed: You are one of the most interesting, intriguing people I've ever met. Getting to know you and all your little idiosyncrasies will be an honor and a pleasure. It's because of you that I see the reality of things. I can only hope that you will keep your word. I trust you and I always will. Just please, don't... well... you know...

Luke, Kenny & Rick: Let there never be a time where I doubt your judgments because in doing so, I've screwed myself over so many times. I have my sanity and you to thank for helping me keep it in check. I owe you my life. I will do anything for you. You need only to ask from me, and it's yours. I love you. I always will.

Mary-Ann: Turns out that my head lost again. It hurts like hell now. Like I said, the fairy tale relationship will never happen even though it's sort of cute? Hahaha... But all the same, I am alive. And I will be for a while.

Guys, I am really tired having spent the past over 6 hours on the phone having super long conversations. :) If anything, I will have my life back in check. I will re-look at how I'm dealing with my life. And most of all, I will never take any of you for granted again. You have been there for me time and time again. I thank God for having you everyday, every waking moment and with every breath.

I also have come to realize that I myself am quite the hypocrite. But it's ok. Because at least I'm not ignorant. And I see truth. I see what's real. And the reality of the matter is, nobody can take from me what I have now. Nobody except God himself. And if he wishes it to be done, then so be it because I have my bestfriends, my brothers, my confidants, my loves, my life, my light of the world by my side. And they will never leave me just as I will never leave them.

I love you guys.