boredom has strange effects

I think I might be influenced by the song. Or perhaps, it really is just how I feel. I don't have a right to be upset really. Or jealous for that matter. He said that it looked like there is something else. Brutal and honest. But that's how it looks. He hates that once again it had to turn out the way it did. This however is my love's way of fighting. It's hard to understand because it goes against all normal conventions.

What right have I as a friend to say who he can or can't hang out with or talk to. Once again, I find myself in a position where I am fucking jealous of a child. Or is it just Hinder playing that's got my head spinning again? Oh great, now it decides to play Jars of Clay. I think I might be in need of a musical revamp.

Some part of me wants the sad songs that make me cry. It's at least one outlet to get rid of the mess that forms and dissipates on a constant basis and at others, it reminds me of all the things I can be happy about. When I think about the past 2 years, I have more reason to be shocked and happy and angry and depressed.

All the same, my techie side has emerged again!! And I will eventually figure out what to do with myself when reality sinks in and I realise that I'm being stupid. Oh wait, I already do know that. So what to do now... what to do what to do what to do. Meh... driving test!!!!!!!