clouds on earth

I dreamt of strange things. I dreamt of buying designer hair clips, rotating toilets, coming home with mom and Cindy to find my love and myself watching the old Mario Brothers cartoons while smoking with Ben. With my mother and cousin in plain sight.

All seemed so perfect in my mothers' eyes. I could do no wrong. All because of him. She loved him to bits and because of that, everything was just right. I don't know. I don't think she should ever have to know. So I don't quite know what to do.

Sometimes not saying a single thing helps me deal with things a lot better than opening up to them. It becomes a liability when I compromise my own thoughts. See, it's hard for it to become a liability when I blog because it's vague and there are very few that understand the code in which I write. So it doesn't matter. I have found a way to speak such that some can completely understand what I'm writing about.

But for now, I have to take extra precaution. Things aren't as peachy as I'd like them to be. And still, I refuse to falter. I refuse to fail.