sollace

Another dream filled night. More whispers of thoughts that seem so far away. And the strength that I need to do what I must.

I painted my nails black again. I officially have my guitarist hands back. No, they don't look nice but... they help. Sometimes I think about things that I shouldn't. More often I want things that I shouldn't have. Little ol' undeserving me? I think not.

This breather is just what I needed even though it's not what I wanted. I don't make sense anymore do I? I'm tired of always having to force myself to find the balance between being me and who I should be or what I must be. I find it increasingly difficult to just carry on. My inspiration is escalating and I'm loving it. But is that what I really want my life to be about? Just the girl and her sad songs? Maybe. If I could make a career out of it I would. But I already know what a lucrative industry it is. It's not going to be able to give me all the things that I need. It will just give what I want.

What happens when your dreams are all an illusion and your reality is hidden from you? All you have left is mind numbing confusion and mindless banter. Can you live with that? Can I live like that? I don't do limbo. But this, this I can deal with. This I can be. This I can handle and this is what I will always believe.

G C
He seems so understanding
Bm C
I think he's secretly afraid
G C
I can never tell what he's thinking
Bm C
I can never think of what to say


Am C Em
Despite the secrets we kept
D
The pain it caused
C
We're still here
Em
We're still here
Am
We're still here
D
Holding on

G C
Final hiding places
Bm C
Last big leaps
G C
It stands before me
Bm C
The vast endless stairs

Am C Em
All the conflicts and differences
D
We can't win them all
Am C Em
We knew it wasn't gonna be easy
D
Busy with our separate lives


G C
The space between
Em D
So far yet near
G C
I'd watch you turn
Em D
Your head back to me
C
The dreams keeps us
Em
The dreams keeps us
Am
The dreams keeps us
D
Holding on


Bm C G
You try to mask your fears
D
With understanding words
Bm C G
Don't you see you're not alone
D
In this imperfect world


G C
Lift up your head
Bm C
You don't have to hide your worries
G C
I will be there
Bm C
To share the smiles and sorrows


Am C Em
Coz in the end all we have
D
Are the ones that we let in
C
These people
Em
These friendships
Am
These lovers
D
Are holding on

- Holding On, MeL

I no longer find comfort in the anger or the depression. The emptiness is just ahead of me. And guess what. It's not too late.

And the playlist says.... My Favourite Things by Julie Andrews. Do you remember this? Do you remember who used to sing this? The one person that could never get this song out of his head. My dear friend, you are sorely missed.