Someone wake me up. I'm dying and for once, I think I may just like it. I can't explain it. I feel so... Strained. Emotionally and physically emptied with just a shred of hope for it to replenish.

Please be good. Please let things work out. Please. I don't want to have to feel like this anymore. I don't want to have to sit and feel like I've been stabbed. I don't want to sit and cry alone anymore. In fact, I don't want to sit and cry even if sometimes crying helps.

Is my blatant avoidance of confrontation making me weak? Am I weak because I choose not to fight back? Is that the reason why people walk all over me? Sometimes I wonder why I care so much. Don't you realise that in doing so I deny myself the happiness that I need?

I find myself in disbelief over how angsty I was and still am. I would've thought I'd have grown out of that phase by now. Perhaps I'm just like that? Hmmm... You know, someone once asked me what I was like when I was in a relationship. I have an answer. To the written world, I sounded like a love struck idiot. To my friends, I was blinded. But when it was just us, I was myself. More myself than I could ever have been. But just like I was asking Tina today, what is it with people (in the groups) and pairing? Is it totally necessary? Is a person's story purely based on who they're with? I think... not. It's sad that some people feel that the only way to validate their lives is to latch on to someone. Anyone. Be it a friend or a lover. I just think it's plain sad. Don't we all have our own lives to govern? Even married couples. It's us this and us that. What about the individual?

Btw, anyone read the article about women with majority male friends? The one with the report given and all? Let me know what that was all about ya? Jon said it's either in FHM or Cosmo. Or one of those types la