Please. Stop.

You keep running away. Seriously, I should know what's going on right? In fact I do don't I? You know I do and yet I sit here and let everything just happen. Despite my knowing everything, I just let you carry on. Stupid isn't it? Do I deserve it? Karma I suppose... For all the things I've helped the others do. And all the things that I've thought about doing.

I've completely lost control of everything. You've really disappointed me. I don't know what I'll do. Knowing me, you'll say something and I'll believe you for while more. Until it eats at me again. It's a pity coz it hurts like hell and I really do love you. I trust you really I do. I don't trust the company you keep. Or more accurately, I just don't trust that one person. God knows why you do this to yourself. Heck, only God knows why I do this to myself as well. Coz I sure as hell don't. The only logical reason is derived from the more illogical of emotions. Love.

Please don't tell me you'll do things when you won't. Please don't say shit like how much you care if it's not true. Coz I mean it when I say it. I don't go around and hurt you do I? And I seriously doubt that my having guys for best friends affects you that much. And don't even bring ex's into the picture. Seriously, are you doing this because of them? It's different and you know it.

You know I can't let go. You know I don't want to. The only shitty thing about all this is that, YOU say you do but you don't. Don't tell me you want something that you can't have. If it's in my power to give then I'll give it to you. Stop playing around. Please.

Listening to: "Sway" by Bic Runga