Of Dreams and Hopes

Every time I watched a great movie, I sit and I replay the whole thing with the commentaries. But so far, only one movie has kept me thinking that people really shouldn't give up on themselves.

For me, as a kid I had that dream of making it to the big screen. That or marrying some rich guy and owning towers and towers of apartments and live in on of the penthouses. But now, being somewhat still in the media, I realise that it's not so much being in the movie. It's more about being able to take it apart and understanding the innuendo and where it all came from.

It's a given that not all of us can be actors or actresses. It's also a given that all of us at one point or another want our names to be set in stone. My mother for some reason thinks that I'll be the one to find a cure for drug addiction. Or at least a fool proof method to help these people. To set them free. Of course a part of me wants to be able to do that but still, there is another that tells me not of have such delusions of grandeur. So what does it take to be remembered? Does it take controversy like Freud and his notion that we are driven by two main things: the unconscious and sexuality? Or can it be in something like... Oh I don't know, writing your thoughts down?

I suppose the point here is, what makes us as individuals special? The subjectivity of our thoughts? Or is this unique-ness just an illusion.

I was talking to Amran yesterday about philosophy. Well she's taking it. I just like babbling about it. I would take it but I don't have credit points to spare or money to spend on one more semester just to take extra modules here and there. I digress... As I was saying, we were talking about existence and illusions. There was a girl in Amran's class that just said that things are only in existence when you can see them, touch them, feel them etc. To the point that she said that Amran's parents in Sweden did not exist because they weren't there. (Talk about being a total insensitive bitch.) This same Australian girl had a photo of her dog in her purse. To which Amran told her that if her parents did not exist because they were not there at that specific time, then this girl's dog didn't exist either. And this contradictory idiot turns around and says I know my dog exists because I just know. That and something about not wanting to speak to her ever. Talk about childish eh?

Obviously we all exist whether or not we see each other. I think the most important thing is how much of an impact we make on each other. Be it good or bad. So how about it? Where do we draw that line? Is wanting to make something of ourselves a lost cause? Or does the answer to that rely on who defines what it means.

I for one don't know. But it doesn't mean I'm going to give in. I refuse to bring myself down to that level. By what I believe in, I know one thing to be true. We were all put here for a reason. I do not believe in coincidences. So, be careful. You never know what will happen next.