me. me and only me.

Hi.
I'm awake already. It's coming isn't it? That's why I can't sleep? Or I'm thinking to much about that idiot again. The last time it was like this I couldn't sleep as well. What am I to do eh? It's not like I can chain smoke my way out of sleeplessness this time. I've run out. Heh. Amazed yet? Well yea.

I can't stop thinking. There're so many things that remind me of the things that I half-heartedly want to forget. From the simplest things like the clothes on my back. I know I should want to just drop it altogether but I can't seem to. Or at least I don't want to or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough.

Either way, I need to make my decision and soon. I don't exactly have a lot of time left to dally anymore. But it's not like I can do anything before Wednesday can I? But this whole Spring break... I don't know. I really don't know. At most I can only do something on Thursday if I'm lucky but then it'd be a little too late wouldn't it?

I hate having to make all the effort. Makes me feel completely useless. But... I suppose I at least have that effort and I know I tried. But you know the whole feeling of trying and failing? Heh... Well, everyone keeps telling me it's not worth my time. I tell you, it's like a bloody self-fulfilling prophecy! Either way, I am not about to give up any time soon. I can't help but have drive. Especially when I see what I want.