I find myself wishing I could live the fairy tale life. I've waited so long haven't I? I've tried so hard. I begin to think that I'm far too ordinary for anything phenomenal to happen to me. My brother, now there's a phenomenal person. But then again we've all got our ups and downs. Mine are purely internal it seems. A complete conflict of the mind where I want to cry and laugh, live and die all at once.

I've lived a pretty straight forward life just as any other person has. Issues with school, life in general... A myriad of stories behind a mask that I've kept immaculate to the vast majority of the world. A mask that hasn't really been tainted by myself but by the people who make imprints on me. I've been back-stabbed and I've back-stabbed as well. It's a pity that the people who are doing these things to me were people who insist I can trust. Obviously I can't. These are the same people who have tried time and time again to rob me of what little happiness I have. People who somehow can't fathom the idea that I am friends with others and share a closeness to others that they could never dream of having.

Intimacy is not equal to trust or love. Intimacy in your case is physical. Or at least that's what it looks like to me. At this point I don't care if you think I'm being bitter. Sure I want to be happy but at this cost? I may not be the purest person alive but I do have morals and integrity which you do not. At least I'm not self-centered. At least I genuinely cared enough to be there for you when others cast you aside. And for God's sake, at least I didn't violate your trust the way you did mine.

But all the same, I won't have to deal with you anymore now do I? I don't have to put up with your rubbish or your ranting. After all, you seem to be in fear of me if not, you wouldn't have to keep me this close now would you? You wouldn't have to keep a close watch on me. And you wouldn't have to be so fearful of what I can and cannot do. I do not believe in revenge. Sure I get angry. But who doesn't? So what if I feel you've wronged me. Karma and judgement is dealt out to all of us in due time. I suggest you watch yourself. Because a greater power is at work here. And when the time comes, that power will look at you and all the things that you've done and then we'll see who's the bigger idiot.

I was just looking back on all the things I've written and said. Angsty, happy, sad... It all doesn't matter really. I didn't do anything that I would lament having done. Except those one or two things which I should never have done in the first place. But yes, I've put them behind me. I don't need your forgiveness. Heck, I don't need anything from you. I'd be better off without you coming in and imposing yourself in my life.

So for once in your entire life, come off your high pedestal and just take a look around you. And then you'll see how alone you really are. Then you'll begin to realise that the wheels have already been in motion and that nice innocent wonderful person that you keep making yourself to be is really nothing that the rest of world doesn't already see through. Then you can come and tell me how arrogant or bitchy I am.

I know this sounds incredibly arrogant and bigoted of me, but I begin to wonder if you're just completely jealous of me and the kind of person I am or is it just that closeness I have with the people I love. The closeness that you don't have because of all your falsity.

I find that I have a lot more to say about you. But I choose not to. My private life must remain as blurred as it is. I have one too many unwelcome readers of my blog. What a pity. I just never thought that I would land up disliking someone who's been slowly infiltrated into my life this much. I never thought your actions would have this huge of a impression on your own psyche. I should hope you don't overdose yourself on medications though. There might not be anyone around to pick you up this time.