I'm sorry... I know I'm demanding and I know I can be a real idiot. But things are just getting so difficult. I don't know how much more of this game I can take? I don't want to play anymore. I never really wanted to play to begin with. You somehow brought out that part of me and I never really wanted to be like that at all... I don't know what to do or what to say. The things you say and the things you do sting. I begin to wonder if I'm doomed to be tormented for the rest of my life because I really don't want to be. I haven't done anything that warrants all this. What have I done to you? Why do you keep doing the things you do? Don't you realise that it's getting harder for me every moment? why do you do the things you do. I don't understand you at all. I want to but I'm beginning to think that I can't.

My angel, Gabriel... Elohim be with us all...