There are countless of different ways for people to realise that shit, they've gotta get their act together. I'm not about to go into details but this really is it. This is the crossroad. Here, I make my choice and I decide where to go and how to get there.

I have to don't I? I need this right? I'm still deathly afraid of this becoming another one of my shortcomings. It sure has the makings of it. Although 'short' here is an understatement of gargantuan proportions. So who wouldn't be afraid? Come on, let's be honest here. If knowing that just a few days would determine a huge part of your future and just a few words can change everything, wouldn't you be scared? It's fucking obvious that you'd be lying if you weren't.

But here's the real difference: is it ok to just turn it down because you're scared. Right now, I'm telling myself that I can't be afraid to take that chance. To risk everything and never look back. The chance that I might have been dreaming for, praying for. A chance that doesn't happen everyday but once in a million lifetimes. So perhaps it's not that I shouldn't be afraid but just that I shouldn't back down even if I know that if it's the wrong choice, I'd be lower than rock bottom. But if I'm right, it will mean more than words can say.

People might not know the difference but I will. I know that it's a chance for me to finally be free from by bounds. Can I risk everything? I've been known to do it. I'm pretty famous for making reckless decisions and somehow scrapping out of tough spots. At least to those who knew that I was in a tough spot to begin with.

I guess it's clear that I just don't want to go back to that dark place anymore. Not when I'm surrounded by so much. It's overwhelming at times but it's something that I can't help but want to hold on to forever. It's a world that I never realised I wanted to be a part of. It's a life that I was meant to live. Not that. Not that anymore. It's so close now that I can almost smell it. It's just slightly out of reach but it's ok. I've waited this long for it, no sense in getting a little impatient now.

I'll find my way. I always do. And let's face facts, I'm never alone. Never.