What if one day, I was to disappear? There are so many people I've encountered in this life time. People who've become friends, friends who became... enemies (for lack of a better word), friends who became lovers, people who left.

I cannot put to words how grateful I am to have met them all. To have been able to share in the happiness and the pain. All of them. They've all made me so much stronger. So much better. In a sense, many if not all of them have healed me. Made me feel like I can do anything and succeed. People who have all taught me that at the end, only I can save me from myself.

There are some who I would do anything for. Anything at all. Even give my life for even if they don't know it.

I'm scared. So very afraid that all this is a dream of something that I can't ever have. I'm only 21. And yet now I see my future so clearly. I don't know if it's clouded and wool's bee pulled over my eyes. But honestly speaking, if my life were to end this very second, it would be bitter-sweet.

I have danced as if know one could see me, sung as if nobody could hear. I have lived each and every single day thinking that it might be my last. But that has never stopped me from looking forward to the next second, the next breath. But I think the most important one to me right now is that I have loved. And I still love. As though I have never been hurt before in my entire life. Even though I know that I have. And when I really sit and think about it, it still does hurt. I mean, that kind of thing never really leaves you. It cuts deep and makes a mark in you that will never go away. Even so, it takes a lot out of me to even try and remember it. It's not that I've repressed it. Or at least I don't think I have even though there are a great deal of things that I still want to say to these people.

Still, at the end of it, I'm still here aren't I? I'm still fighting, still living, still dancing, singing and loving. To my dying breath, I will strive to do all that I can. It's a promise I made to myself a long long time ago. One of the last few promises I made that has never been broken. Because now more than ever, I have people who believe in me even when I can't convince myself that things will work out. I have people who dream dreams of which I am a part of.

Now there are so many things that I want to do. That I want to be able to do and know that I can if I really try. This time, I know I'll make it through. I know that I can. And if I think I can't, well, there's really no room for that.

Once again, words cannot express how much I feel right now. Words cannot express how much I fight to never lose what I've found. Nothing is more important than this.

- MeL

Leave it all Behind, Linkin Park