I can see hell and heaven in your eyes. It doesn't particularly scares me, heck it excites me. Just knowing, just feeling. In the admirable words orf David Draiman, "Touching you makes me feel alive, Touch you makes me die inside."

I think the meds are getting to me. I'm getting into one of those strange sadistic moods. Then again, I've been like this all day, that strange mood that I can't explain no matter how hard I try. A mood I can't shake off.

I know what I want. I know what I need. And I also know that what I want and what I need often do not coincide. And yet, I can't help it. I wish.

I'm secretly wishing. I am not so secretly waiting. But it's no secret that I am trying to be patient. Don't know how long I can keep this up, but I try. I will break eventually. Heck, I feel it coming on. But we shall see how far I can push.