It's funny isn't it? How time seems to have taken us all for a spin? For some of us, it's like nothing changed and nothing had happened. And yet for others, seconds and hours seem like forever.

This whole time, I had always felt like I'd never left home. Until today. It's Tuesday morning. I've been home for a little over a week. There's still so much to do and so many people to see. And yet, I can't help but wonder if if it's really what I should do. I think it's time that I stop thinking about what I should do and just do what I want to. Those that truly know me already know that my life, as much as I like to say, is not my own. I live for other people, I dream for other people and I hope for other people. The people I love. The people I hope will be there. But I can't expect the world to come at a stand still just waiting for me. I don't. I can't.

Maybe I've really mellowed. Maybe I've grown. Maybe I'm just different. People always say that it takes a lot for a person to learn from their experiences. I begin to think otherwise. It just takes one small thing. One gust of wind, a single thought (fine that's an impossibility but indulge me), one kiss, one smile, one love. It's the little things that make us who we are. And the road that we take that guide us along the way.

I want to believe that my life is here. Home. Where I don't have to worry about anything. A place where everything is provided for me. But, that's just avoiding the bigger picture isn't it? That's just being dependant instead of being independent. I know that one day I'll be able to stand on my own two feet. With people around of course. In subtle ways, we hold each other up. We become each others pillars of strength.

So these are my words. Words that I will say till the end of time. We are all strong. Sometimes pillars crumble, sometimes people leave. But it's not the end of the world. Letting go of friends, loved ones and family is part and parcel of life. And as much as I don't want to just let things be as they are, I have to. This is already out of my hands. But, I will not allow anymore to get themselves entangled.

I have learnt a great deal of things from the people around me. I need you guys to understand that you don't have to be afraid to tell me anything. You don't have to worry. Because ultimately, if you tell me the truth, it wouldn't be as bad as keeping up a lie. Doing things just because other people are isn't what we're about. We are our own people. We ought to be able to live our own lives free from discrimination, prejudice and all that. So the next time you want to scorn someone for a wrong they've done you, think about it and look at yourself. Have you done the same thing to another? To a friend? A lover? Your own family? Would you back stab those you love just to clear a path for yourself? Would you blame someone else for something you know they didn't say or do? And even if you think that you're right, how sure can you be?

Just one last thing. Gossip will always remain gossip. Speculation will always remain as speculation. The absolute truth may be too great for us to fathom but the quest for it just proves that we are human. And as imperfect as we are, we continue to strive to be perfect. We are after all, perfectly imperfect. A walking talking contradicting race.

We are a paradox. The world is ours to mould, ours to care for. Is this the path that you chose? Can you live with the choice you made? Or will you look back and have much regret for the people you know you've hurt? Will you be able to look them in the eye and say you're sorry? Is it really that hard to imagine that people just might forgive you if you try?

I stand here unalone and unafraid. I know myself better than anyone else. Can you say the same about yourself?