I had another dream last night. I didn't quite know whether or not I wanted to write about it. It was disturbing. I'm not saying that my other dreams weren't disturbing. It's just that I hadn't thought about him in so long. In fact, I haven't spoken to him in so long let alone thought. I don't even remember when I last spoke of him.

Oh wait... I do...

But yea... It was a disturbing dream about me and someone I never should have gone out with. Someone who reminds me of Starbucks and grapefruits in the middle of the afternoon. Why the sudden dream. Was I really thinking about him in my subconscious? I don't think so. I dare not think so. It was wrong. Totally wrong. And I was lucky enough to run out of the damned thing and fast. And let's face it, I'm only daring enough to write this here because I realised he has no idea I have this. This little piece of me that I take with me everywhere. Yes, I know it's pathetic to get attached to your online presence.

It's left a foul taste in my mouth that even the glass of Reisling I had minutes ago can take away. Can you take away my pain? Because it's not welcome anymore. Don't let it rain on my parade. These are supposed to be the last few days I have till I go and here I am. With a foul taste in my mouth. It's not making any of this easier. None of you are making this easier. I'm the girl that doesn't want to leave but doesn't want to stay.

Just shoot me anymore. I don't want to feel.