"A mere mention leaves me in shambles. Or at least it used to. Now I find solice in other things. My work, my music, my loves. You are but nothing to me. And you should not let me or anyone destroy your happiness. There is no room for you in my life anymore. You have no place here."

I woke up and found that written on a piece of scrap paper and a pen still in my hand. Written in my handwriting as well. Quite shocking really. I had quite a multitude of interesting dreams. For one I dreamt of smoking with you by the window in your room, I dreamt of smoking with my parents (who by the way either have never or have given up smoking). I remember a wedding. Mine. And this time the dress was white. I'd never seen such a gorgeous dress in my life and trust me I've seen quite a few. I saw my friends. But not all of them. There were a few missing. My brother was there with Addie and Adam. I could see everyone. Almost. I could feel your lips against mine, my small ring around your little finger. Quite amusing to say the least. I woke up with a strange smile on my face and a tear on my cheek.

Love transcends time and distance. I found out something else just yesterday. I found out that not all love no matter how happy is true. It hurts quite a bit to find out that the people you thought you knew have become something else. Not even someone. Something. Sad isn't it? What's even more appaling is the fact that you get pissed off with me for 'lying' when I never did where here you are doing just that. Just sitting there. I hate your games. But I love your company. I don't care about the past or anything. For crying out loud, we're friends aren't we? Really, won't you even give us that? Your choice. I don't care anymore. You can do whatever you want.

Imagine, I've got all this happening and still I need to shoot love. I need to find love.