It's common knowledge that I left the church choir a very long time ago. In fact... I kinda left after Christmas last year. I remember telling Angie and Ash about how I wasn't coming back anymore. It's really saddening to see how authoritarian everything has become. The sad thing about me is, when I first joined, it was like i had a reason to go to church and it was really nice. I enjoyed mass knowing that I was actually doing good. So much has happened and changed since then. It seems like I died at the age of 13 and have been a walking zombie since, breaking promises I made to the people I love the most and even to myself.

Today in a sense was really an eye opener. In fact, this whole weekend has been. And all the more now I find that I'm not so afraid of leaving anymore. All the more I realize that as much as some of you have tried to convince me otherwise, I am being used. I don't like the feeling of putting so much into something and hoping for the best and then you just get slapped in the face because you find out that it was all for nothing. Btw, I'm not sure if I'm sorry I slapped you. You deserved it. But still I feel bad.

About the choir. I left. I washed my hands off HALMM a long time ago. Sure, if you guys want to delete me from the list go right the fuck ahead. Not many people know why I've left and I don't feel the need to justify myself to anyone. When you don't feel like you belong anymore, that's when you stop.

Btw babes, no, I wasn't home this weekend. I went to Luke's party and then crashed at another friends' place. Even that was chaotic. But hey, I've still got a few people who haven't yet disappointed me.

Hey Hayl, hang in there aight? You're brother loves you. He just doesn't know how to show it.