I've learned so many things in the past week. For example, how easy it is to lie and manipulate. How easy it is for me to find someone to pamper and treat like a God.

And how easy it is to simply love. Unconditionally. It's so simple to stop trusting someone and how difficult it is to trust someone who you've spent what seems like forever trying to forget or hate. Audrey came over the other day and I was doing one of those quizzes and there was this one question that I asked myself out loud. "Are you seeing anyone" Haha! She automatically said no. I wonder... I wonder whether I should have considered the other option without just clicking no. I mean I am kind of seeing someone new. I wonder what I'd have clicked had I been on my own.

I've spent almost all of my life having my answers spoon fed or sometimes force fed. Always having someone looking over my shoulder. And for the first time, I'm not yearning for freedom. I'm waiting and watching for that day when I'll be able to stand on my own, proudly exclaiming that I'm ok. That I really didn't need anyone to stand with me.

In a strange way, I think it's already here and people are eating my dust. Nice isn't it? To have come so far.

What really makes me smile though are my brothers being so proud of me. When Rick said that he only had one best friend, it dawned upon me that our bond was possibly more. I'm his sister. And blood runs deep. Call me an ego maniac but those were among the thoughts running through my mind. An old friend of mine said something like that to me too. Heh. Even my own biological brother is watching over me. Watching me become a whole new person every day. I would've loved to have him with me in Melbourne as siblings pursuing degrees. But I understand that I've got to do this on my own.

I've come this far with so much support, I'd hate to disappoint my loves now.

PS: 9 days to go. Goodbye to the place I once loved. To the people I've met and worked with. To the people I cared about. To the person I loved. Good bye.

Just watch me.
I'll disappear right before you eyes.