I honestly don't care whether you think I'm right. I really don't. Yesterday evening or at least early this morning, I read something that an old friend had written. If you don't want to fight for something then maybe it isn't worth fighting for? I can't help but agree with that. I can't help but see it in myself. And yet it feels like I'm the only one pulling on the proverbial tug of war rope. So what's a girl to do? Let the cards that have been dealt out be? I'm a firm believer in holding my own destiny in the palm of my hand. That and the fact that what's in store for me is hard enough to deal with let alone change.

So what now? What now? SERIOUSLY, what now. Really wishing that I knew.

Ok all things aside, I'm not the only one fighting. But I just wish that it were more obvious. A little more out there. I'd feel infinitely better if you'd just let me see that. Let me see that you think that we're worth fighting for. It's not like we've got a lot of time left.

I find myself wondering what would happen if I were to get rid of all the ponstan in my refrigerator.