I know I haven't written in a while. I know I've been neglecting a lot of things. If anything I know now more than ever I need my friends. And most importantly I need my family. Because here, where I am now, I don't get that kind of reprieve. I'm forced to paint a fake smile on my face when on the inside I've not wanted to do anything but let everything out. I still wonder if this is what I want.

Words. Words are very powerful whether you mean for them to be or not. We all have to live up to the fact that what we say affects other people don't we? Why. WHY can't you see what it's doing to me. Why can't you see that at the end of the day you're doing exactly what you promised you wouldn't. How on earth do you expect me to trust you after all this. I can't can I? I can trust my life to you but I can't trust my happiness or sanity. And without those, what's the worth of having a life?