So I did wake up eleven. But promptly fell asleep again. The day was chaotic. I love Cia's hair do and the whole look. It was gorgeous! But for some reason despite all the people that were there, I couldn't bring myself to be genuinely happy. I was drinking too much too fast and we all know where that leads don't we?

Now as I sit here and type with the biggest hang over in my life for a companion, I don't want to pack. I don't want to leave. And I definitely won't be doing these get togethers before leaving. I get too sloshed. And if there's one thing I've realised, it's that my secrets don't remain my secrets.

I just want to cry. I've wanted to just break down for the longest time. I want to be able to collapse. I don't want to be strong. I don't. For once I just want to be... well... me.