I shall return for you, my love, on christmas day

I can only wish and put everything at stake that I'll get what I want this Christmas. It's nothing material but it's everything that's real. I wish for all of us to be together and for us all to be happy. I want us to have true peace and happiness.

I want to see you again. I want you here with me. I remember sleepless nights filled with tears too much alcohol and smoking so much that the air in my room was thick with smoke. It's not so bad now. I am dealing with it pretty ok. I just wish you were here. I hate to admit it but I need you. You have no idea how much I do.

I've been running like mad away from myself, away from the truth, from everything. But I'm coming back. The last I saw you the year before was Christmas Day. I shall return. I swear it.