hur...

I give up. I fucking give up. It’s impossible for me to be happy isn’t it? I’m just trying to bask in the honeymoon period here and yet there are so many oppositions that it’s not funny. Seriously, you people are all so afraid of me getting hurt right? Don’t you see that YOU are hurting me? You people talk about how you’ll go after the people who hurt me. Don’t tell me you can go after yourselves. It is because of the 2 of you that I am this upset now ok? I know you care. I love you guys too. But for once in your lives, try and think of what might be going on in my mind every time you accuse me of being immoral or stupid. How would you feel if someone told you that? You aren’t perfect. None of us are.

I’ve become so tired of the entire concept of love. Do you have any idea how tiring it is to fall in love and then keep it up? Not to mention get rid of obstacles and try to support each other? Why do we have to fight. I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m scared enough as it is not to mention completely exhausted what with the Jed thing. And now… I have this. Don’t get me wrong. I am happy and I do care about you a lot. You know I do. I want this to work. The feeling of being in love is exhilarating. What drains me is the fact that I keep having to fight every Tom, Dick and Mary. Heh